


(because I knew that) this was cursed

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: 1x13, 1x14, Contemplation, Gen, Other, They make me want to cry ok, i'm sorry in advance though, this isn't really an au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-26
Updated: 2015-01-26
Packaged: 2018-10-14 12:38:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10536618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: General Secura had spoken of letting go.





	

**Author's Note:**

> K so this is centered around 1x13/1x14 and it will always annoy me that that's the only real set of episodes we get with Aayla Secura and Commander Bly. So that's where this is from. This is unbeta'd. Technically my first SWCW fic, so, uh, yeah. (I had to, okay. This show makes me very upset.) This might seem repetitive, but it has a purpose. I promise.

( _He remembers his training. He remembers dreams of a vast, dizzying expanse of blue skin and bright eyes that made him feel both whole and cracked open when his eyes were closed. He remembers Jedi Master and legendary General Yoda telling him and his men, when they were fresh off of Kamino, that they each had the Force in them. He remembers it clearly, like it was yesterday, and he remembers—)_

 

Attachments—General Secura had said to Padawan Tano—were nothing to be ashamed of. Or, at least, the part about being confused about them wasn’t. She’d said that the Padawan had needed to learn to let _go_ of her attachments.

 

( _He remembers the first time he’d heard her voice. He’d been assigned by one of the officers to one General Secura, and he’d been leading his men up the ramp onto the battleship. He’d heard a lot about the Jedi—every one of his brothers had. He’d thought he knew what to expect, he’d thought—)_

 

She spoke of letting go, he’d heard her himself—but then she went and saved him from getting killed. Again. And, if he knew her by now, it wouldn’t be the last time. She saved him _almost_ as much as he saved her.

 

_(He hadn’t known that serving with a Jedi meant that he’d be getting her out of more scrapes than she would him. He hadn’t anticipated a Jedi’s recklessness or their wisdom or how they were so willing to put their life in danger for their clones. He knew his men thought the same—that they were expendable, replaceable. Each one of them knew it, and yet—)_

 

General Aayla Secura spoke of letting go. Commander Bly heard her loud and clear, and yet, she’d told the leader of the Lurmen village that both she and him would remain there, while the Padawan went back to General Skywalker with the medic. He’d heard this, loud and clear.

 

_(And yet, from time to time, he’ll catch glimpses and hear bits and pieces about Captain Rex and General Skywalker, Commander Cody and General Kenobi, Commander Wolffe and—)_

 

Commander Bly hears her words ringing in his ears when he’s unable to get up onto the branch, like Captain Rex, and he thinks he might understand what General Secura was trying to do when she swings down to save his life yet again. It’s like they have a score between them, a score to settle that’s over how many times they could save each over again and again and again until the General has saved the clone’s life no more than the Commander has saved the Jedi’s.

 

_(Each of those generals has put their life on the line for their troops. Each general has their commander or captain. He hears war stories that the clones will laugh about for centuries, if this war goes on for that long, and he remembers General Secura gripping his hand and pulling him up the face of a cliff. He remembers being shoved out of the way, he remembers Captain Rex complaining about General Skywalker and Padawan Tano using the force on him—to save his life, of course—)_

 

General Secura fights like—well, she fights like no other. No one Jedi is a carbon copy of another, and her movements are fluid, calculated, and quick. She might be able to use the Force. She might be a peacekeeper that an opposing people might be able to understand the position of. She might say things that the Padawan needs to hear, but that does not change the fact that she hasn’t mastered letting go, either.

 

_(He thinks of Padawan Tano, of Ahsoka. He looks to her and he looks to Captain Rex, and thinks that attachment is something that, despite what one might think they feel and tell themselves, cannot be unlearned. He sees the way Ahsoka grins at her Captain and he sees how she shifts from one foot to the other because she left him and her master far behind. He knows that look. She and Aayla Secura are not unalike._ )

 

At the end of it all, Commander Ahsoka follows General Skywalker into their ship, with Captain Rex by her side. Commander Bly watches the two of them walk side by side and take their place beside Skywalker. He is fully aware of General Secura’s thoughtful gaze turned on the Padawan and how at ease said Padawan looks between her master and the clone he knows she’s probably saved as much as he’s saved her. His General had talked about letting go. She’d spoken like she knew something about it, and, as they both watch the ship until it is far out of their sights, he knows they both do. They _all_ do.

 

_(He thinks on what his General said, and realizes that she knew more about it than she was saying. Although they’d been talking about Jedi Masters, he’d had a feeling that the General had infused something else into her words, something more, and he wonders. He wonders if, when Padawan Ahsoka thinks about clones, about her men, if Captain Rex is the first face to fill her mind. If it’s the tally marks on his armor or the shape of his helmet or the blue stripes on his arms or the fact that part a clone’s job is to make sure the Generals and Commanders they fight with don’t get themselves killed, because—)_

 

He stands beside Secura on the ship. He is ready to leave this planet.

 

_(—when he thinks of blue skies, it’s the blue vastness of her skin and the sound of her voice that come to mind.)_


End file.
